a lady keeps her gentlemen straight


When discussing a guy I’m kind of, sort of seeing (why I often have no idea whether I’m dating someone or not to be delved into in a later post), I called him by the name of where he works, which just so happens to also sound like a vending machine choice.

“What, you categorize your men now?” a coworker said.

Not exactly, though a lady friend and I do have a habit giving nicknames to guys with whom we have been acquainted. The reasons for the nicknames vary. Some serve as an alias for a romance better kept on the dl. A few were coined by friends in favor of the gentleman. But mostly, they are mnemonic devices. The defining characteristic that led to us swooning or squirming.

So, for your reading pleasure, here’s the list, in no particular order. Inquiries can be made in the comments.

This lady:

Cheesy on the Outside
The Cone
Cycling, Vegetarian, Indian-Food Lover
Vampire Larper
Almost Soul Mate
Stealth Dater
Boyfriend/Sugar-Free Tea Biscuit
Space Safari
Stroke It
Silver Fox
Silver-Not-Fox/Silver Weasel
Pretend Boyfriend
Beach Boy/Back Porch
The Professor/Naked Heavy Petter
Goth Steven Seagal

Lady friend:

The Viking
Plaid Shadow/Eddie
Blandy McBlanderson
Leave Britney Alone
Lip Biter
Bon Jovi
Gun Case
Droll Troll
General Custer

Many thanks to the ladies and gentleman who contributed.


6 Responses to “a lady keeps her gentlemen straight”

  1. 1 Jason

    Should I be looking for myself?

  2. 2 carelynn84

    I’m afraid not, love. Would you like to be added? You are often referred to as “Japanese Jason.”

  3. 3 carelynn84

    What do you know, I actually forgot someone. Here’s to Almost Soulmate, who has been added to the list.

  4. 4 Alexis

    I want to point out two things about my…I mean your lady friend’s list.

    1. All of the names are based on a particularly fatal flaw or red-flag-raising characteristic. These are not pet names for an object of affection. I do it to add the balm of humor to dating disasters. Carrie’s list has a few seeds of hope.
    2. Sometimes the nicknamed Lotharios know about our naming practices. In fact, pretend boyfriend came up with General Custer based on the story of his last stand.

  5. 5 Kate

    Contemplating this once more, I’m compelled to share of few of these of my own:

    Mousie #9
    Turkey Boy

    My friend Ranch and I have decided that these names make for easy-to-remember passwords.

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