a lady does not spin a penis wheel


Have you noticed I’ve had a lot of “don’ts” lately? Oh, be assured, I understand the potential conclusions that can be made here. Being a lady is, uh, complicated. So, what the hell, here’s one more for the list.

You should know that I’m about to get anatomical.

Penis. Yep, I said it. Penis.

Whew. Everyone still here?

Ladies probably don’t say penis, which leads me to believe that viewing them, live, in a public setting, while being fiddled, is probably some level of unladylike behavior the likes of which we have yet to see. Until now, of course. Or should I say, until Chatroulette.

For those of you unfamiliar with Chatroulette, don’t feel too bad, I only found out about it recently. When Chatroulette came up in conversation at a party, I asked a friend to explain. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but it went something like “video chat,” “strangers,” and “guys masturbating.” I’d say she pretty much hit the nail on the head. To clarify just a bit though, what puts the spin in Chatroulette is the next button, which you can click at any time to get a new, random user. Typically, a guy with his pee pee out for some voyeuristic self-service.

With those odds, how could we not turn Chatroulette into a drinking game? The rules were simple: see a dick, take a swig. Though we weren’t greeted by penis, Chatroulette did not disappoint. We chatted with a few people, were deemed uninteresting by others (they decided to take their chances somewhere else), then hit the jackpot.

By the end of the night, lady luck had left us (perhaps she was offended). No one wants to quit when they’re losing though, so we trudged ahead. Someone had the idea to up the ante by showing off his belt buckle. Another person decided to begin every chat with something to the effect of “Show us your dick so we can drink.” Turns out, guys will not whip out their genitals when solicited in every situation. They expect reciprocation. Up front. Being as none of the ladies were willing to show their cards, we had a rough go of it.

Watching a stranger diddle with his privies from various locations throughout the world is not the same as pornography. The difference here, I think, is the creep factor. Probably on both sides. Then again, Chatroulette did make for an excellent party game. See what I mean about being a lady? Complicated.


One Response to “a lady does not spin a penis wheel”

  1. 1 Nick

    From http://www.textsfromlastnight.com:

    her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs

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