a lady keeps a clean sink

07Mar10

I, however, do not. I believe “gross” would be the appropriate word here. Gross, smelly, unsanitary, vomit-inducing . . . you get the idea. To give you a sense of just how gross it gets, let me offer a comparison. When I do wash the dishes, my sink stays clean for one to two days. The other, I don’t know, 348 days a year when I do not wash the dishes, my sink is full.

Probably the longest stretch of unwashed dishes occurred two years ago when I made a three-course meal for two friends. I was with someone then and spent half my time at my apartment and the other half with him at his parent’s house. I didn’t so much add to the dishes from dinner as I ignored them. For months. The week leading to a visit from my family, I told myself I would have a day-long wash or whatever it took to make the kitchen presentable.

I should note that I believe a sink piled high with food-encrusted plates, glasses, the candy dish I sometimes resort to using when I run out of bowls, is one thing when it’s just me and my Calico cat named for a dead poet. Still unladylike, but not on public display, which I think in general makes any unladylike action twice as bad (or so says my friend Jared, dating advisor and all-around lady enthusiast).

I am therefore sad to say that when it comes to keeping a clean sink, this girl is once, twice, three times not a lady. When my family arrived, my last-minute attempt still had dirty cups lining the counters. So, uh, my mom did them. A big no-no by the way. A lady, as my man Harvey Newcomb noted, should not be “so heartless and unfeeling as to be willing to see their mothers working like slaves,” because the behavior is “any thing but ladylike.” Sorry, mom.

More recent transgressions include having a date help me move dishes into a laundry basket so we could cook dinner and serving a frozen pizza on a cutting board.

Now, I have tried to get help. But as it is, none of my friends are willing to do my dishes for me and my mom does not live in the area. Oh, and a lady is supposed to do her own work. So there’s that. Newcomb makes sure to tell us that “in washing you will find an abundance of interesting experiments in chemistry,” though I think the old man is just pulling my leg with that one. I also found a good list of tips on how to wash dishes and speed-clean your kitchen but nothing too useful by way of motivation.

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2 Responses to “a lady keeps a clean sink”

  1. 1 Lady Abby

    I really think this makes a valuable point: “Oh, and a lady is supposed to do her own work.” Following that logic, Sean Hannity’s kept, maid-ed wife, for example, is not a lady, which I always suspected.

    Also, who is this Jared, lady enthusiast? Does he have a blog I can follow to get man-approved lady-like advice?

  2. 2 Stephanie Brea

    I get lady points for being neurotic, I guess. I have to wash the dishes after dinner or I get all anxious and twitchy. However, I will talk about my period to anyone who will listen…

    Carrie, this is fabulous so far. I have added it to my Delicious bookmarks. Keep it coming!


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