a lady does not proposition a stranger on twitter


To be fair, it was an accident. I thought I did know him. And it wasn’t a proposition exactly. More like a friendly reminder. See, I went to school with said stranger. We knew each other sort of. Then he moved. Then he moved again. Then I decided to give online dating a whirl and got an OKCupid account.

. . .

Can you guess what happens next? Yep, he found me. But, like I said, he moved. AKA, we did not start dating and go on to make loads of babies together in a cozy love story of marital bliss. Actually, I didn’t even see him. He got in touch with me because, as it so happened, he was in Pittsburgh the same weekend. Being that I had made plans to see two lady friends for a revealing game of “Never have I ever” and Kahlua milkshakes (and, side note, a lady does not ditch other ladies for a guy, even if he is a gentleman), I had to decline.

The plot artificially thickened yesterday when he (or, rather, the person I thought was him) approved me to follow him on Twitter. He tweeted as Twitter tweeting twits like us will do, mentioning that he going out to dinner in my neighborhood. Well, I was slightly aghast. What? I’m no longer good enough for a visit?

My stunning talent of getting a little miffed at people I don’t even talk to for no reason aside, I replied to his tweet: “I happen to live in Squirrel Hill. Just saying.”

Now, some time between tweeting and falling asleep, I decided to check for a response and look at his page. Here he has an entire profile of Pittsburgh-related tweets. Tunnels, Pens, you name it. Had he moved back? Here’s where we start to get the slow motion of the light bulb. I look at his picture, which by the way, is only one and half of his eyeballs, a teaser of hair, and an unidentifiable background. That is him, right? I see his name. His Twitter name, which I now come to realize is probably his actual name lumped together in ambiguity for those who don’t actually pay attention like me.

That is not his name.

Now the story changes. I have not just flirtatiously suggested an old friend come visit. I have, by request, started following someone I do not know (but who my friend Caroline over at The Lost Ingredient does know), and within minutes of his approval, have asked him what I’m not exactly sure.

What does a lady do in this situation? I like to think a lady does not shy away from her mistakes, but politely asks those involved to excuse her error. I do not have a source to back up my claim though. I tried to find some kind of advice in How to Be a Lady: A Book for Girls Containing Useful Hints on the Formation of Character to no end (a gem of a book I intend to use frequently). Being “sorry,” making a “mistake,” or finding an “apology” for your actions are really only thought of before you go and do something stupid.

So, instead, I pretended the whole thing never happened. I deleted my tweet. And just to be sure no foul play was suspected, I stopped following him. As for the other guy, I checked in on him via the aforementioned dating site. He lives in Brooklyn. I decided no friendly reminder was needed.


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